


Forgive Me, Brother, for I Have Sinned

by caset290



Category: Supernatural
Genre: A Lot Of Capitalization, M/M, lonlieness, season 5
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-27
Updated: 2016-05-27
Packaged: 2018-07-10 12:21:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6984853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caset290/pseuds/caset290
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Seeing Lucifer since The Fall felt like something out of a dream. His face, his true face behind his wilting vessel was scarred, broken, almost painful to look at, but he was still beautiful. Castiel could still feel his beauty essentially radiating off of the Morning Star; it was mind numbing. Calming despite the ring of Holy Fire he was trapped in; this was not the Devil Castiel was conditioned to fear and hate, this was Lucifer. The Morning Star, the second oldest Archangel, and favorite brother. Castiel almost pitied him. Almost.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Forgive Me, Brother, for I Have Sinned

Castiel was just a fledgling when the war began. The Rebellion, is what he knew it by, led by no less than the Morning Star. The most beautiful angel, second oldest, once God's favorite son, and Castiel's favorite brother. He could never rid himself of the overall feeling of admiration when in the presence of the Archangel, feeling small in his company was nothing new to any of the angels.

Castiel would never forget the moment when he was asked to join the Morning Star. As a fledgling, he was unaware of what to do, what side to take; rendered speechless by the mere fact the Archangel was even looking in his direction. The amount of hustle and bustle in his head made Castiel unable to answer the Archangel, who grew impatient and flew off with a sigh and a mutter about fledglings to find other angels to join his army.

Lucifer had more than enough angels, he thought, looking at the horizon over said army's heads. They were ready. He could take on God, prove that bowing before the humans would be a mistake. He was going to win.

Castiel would never forget watching the fight between brothers, Michael and Lucifer. The Morning Star's army had fallen, loosing their graces, their wings, becoming mutilated and sent into Hell to rot. This was his last chance, everyone knew this as they watched the brothers tear each other apart. It was painful, to Castiel at least, feeling the waves of energy coming off of each like tidal waves, each blow soaked in the pain of mostly Lucifer. Light exploded around them, blood was being spilled, cries of pain echoed in his head. When the battle was nearing its end, Castiel could see the Morning Star failing, losing energy, but not quite giving up.

Michael had his little brother pinned to the ground with only a foot. He screamed at Lucifer, yelling for him to just give up, forget any of his plans, come back to Heaven. There were visible tears in his eyes. He never wanted to do this, but it was God's word, His orders that could not be disobeyed. Lucifer remained, trying to fight despite the outcome being obvious. He begged for Michael to just join him, forget the fighting!

Fed up, the eldest Archangel grabbed Lucifer by the wings and dragged him to the gates, the Morning Star began to panic. Pleading, begging for Michael to change his mind. One brief, final moment of eye contact and the Morning Star was thrown out of Paradise.

To the humans below, they watched with awe as the Morning Star plummeted towards the Earth, burning, becoming the mutilated Prince of Darkness they would come to know as the Devil. They only thought he was a shooting star, a gift from the Gods along with the others that had happened in their past. The other Fallen, Lucifer's failed army, the first real demons.

* * *

  
Seeing Lucifer since The Fall felt like something out of a dream. His face, his true face behind his wilting vessel was scarred, broken, almost painful to look at, but he was still beautiful. Castiel could still feel his beauty essentially radiating off of the Morning Star; it was mind numbing. Calming despite the ring of Holy Fire he was trapped in; this was not the Devil Castiel was conditioned to fear and hate, this was Lucifer. The Morning Star, the second oldest Archangel, and favorite brother. Castiel almost pitied him. Almost.

"I remember seeing you, Castiel," the Morning Star had interrupted his train of thought. "Before I Fell, when I was fighting with Michael; I saw you. You were just a fledgling."

"...That is true," Castiel nodded, unsure of how else to respond. Being on Earth was a difficult adjustment for the angel.

"So you know. You saw the cruelty, the unfairness, the unjustness of the whole situation," Lucifer kept his voice level, a talent he had since Castiel could remember. "You'll face the same things, albeit to a slightly different degree, but I digress."

"It would only be worse if I joined you," Castiel narrowed his eyes.

"If I lose," the Morning Star began to slowly make his way around the circle of flames, Castiel moving to never let him behind himself. "Who says Michael has to win this time?"

"God does."

"Castiel, my poor brother," the Archangel's face contorted to something of sadness, pity, "God is dead."

"No."

"Yes."

"You're wrong," Castiel was seething by now. How could he? How could Lucifer, God's favorite, the Morning Star, the bravest out of all the angels, say such things? He still loved, right? Despite everything, Castiel thought, Lucifer could still love. No, what was he thinking? Lucifer was a creature of hate, the Prince of Darkness, Master of Lies, something new Castiel couldn't quite understand. The grotesque beauty, the warm but intimidating words, the chilled atmosphere.

"Dear brother, I know what you're thinking," the Morning Star smiled sadly. "How could I say such a thing? Our precious Father, our Creator, I should still love Him, still respect Him," he stopped his circling, holding Castiel's gaze intently. "But being locked away has opened my eyes, let me see more of this pitiful world than I've seen before. And do you know what I see?"

Castiel was unsure if he wanted to answer, if he wanted to know the answer. He began to realize the Morning Star was warped, no longer the beacon of Light and Hope Castiel so vividly remembered. No longer Good.

"Castiel, I see the damnation and destruction of these creatures. I see a violent death for all inhabitants, human or otherwise. Do you know why this will happen?"

More silence, Castiel found himself too disgusted to speak.

"Because God does not care. He is not dead literally, but to me, to the Earth that He abandoned, He is dead. Don't you understand? When was the last time He answered your prayers, how often did you doubt He was even listening? I sense it in you, Castiel, your doubt, your rebellion, He is dead to you as well."

"You... You're wrong," Castiel hesitantly repeated himself, unsure of his stance anymore. God had abandoned them, yes, but he still had to have Faith. He still had to believe his Father would return and save them.

"Brother, Castiel, I will ask you this one more time," the Morning Star extinguished the circle of Holy Fire and cupped a cold, gentle hand around the younger angel's face. "Will you join me?"

The intensity of the situation was suffocating to Castiel. He was unsure of how to feel anymore, more confused than he had ever been since this mess began. He loved his brother, but Lucifer was dangerous, the King of Lies and Deception. But he could not rid himself of his memories of the Morning Star, the favorite Angel among brothers, sisters, even if his Father. Castiel also loved God, his Father, his Creator, but was left feeling so betrayed. He was alone, Heaven no longer on his side. He was alone, the Winchesters will have no use for him after the Apocalypse. He was alone.

He was alone, except for one Archangel.

"I..." A brief hesitation washed over the Angel before he gave a curt nod. "Yes. Yes, I will."

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Kudos and Comments are always appreciated!


End file.
